149 Prognosen von Nikki Pezaro

Will das kanadische Medium ins Guinessbuch der Rekorde? 

Ob es im Guinessbuch der Rekorde auch einen Rekord für Wahrsager gibt, weiß ich nicht. Falls doch, ist Nikki Pezaro eine Anwärterin auf den Titel für die meisten und die unsinnigsten Prognosen eines Jahres. Schauen wir uns mal die Prognosen dieser Dame in ihrer ganzen Schönheit an. Damit es übersichtlicher wird, habe ich sie übrigens durchnummeriert (mindestens 4 der 153 Prognosen sind Doppelnennungen) - aber jetzt gehts los:

A: World Predictions

1. An explosion around Rockefeller Center will cause havoc.

2. Part of the UN will collapse as it is in session.

3. Orient Express will derail and kill hundreds.

4. A disease wipes out hundreds of walruses.

5. A poison put into potatoe crops will kill thousands in the U.S. and in Canada.

6. The US will invade and take over Cuba after Fidel Castro passes away.

7. A suicide bomber will blow himself up on 5th Avenue in New York.

8. A disease around monkeys in India.

9. Terrorists will use dogs with explosives attached to enter the White House and the Capital Building in Washington, DC.

10. A terrorist disguised as a cameraman will enter a television station and kill a famous TV talk show host in the US.

11. A substance found in cherries will cure bronchitis.

12. A holly wood movie star is killed by a poisonous snake while filming a movie.

13. A new King Kong will emerge in the jungles of Costa Rica.

14. A power blackout over North America will last 48 hours.

15. An attack on Air Force One will force it down.

16. A TV monitor the size of a computer nicknamed the Dream Machine will monitor your dreams while you sleep and you will be able to see the results the next morning.

17. The US will invade Iran and assasinate Muhmound Ahmadinejau.

18. A UFO will land near the Potomac River in Washington, DC.

19. A new Hitler will emerge in Germany.

20. The Kremlin will be on fire.

21. A serial killer will stalk people at Disneyworld.

22. A cure for acne.

23. Corsets and bras for men.

24. A movie star will lose their memory and will be found wandering the streets of Amsterdam, Holland.

25.  A state of emergency will be declared when a giant fog covers most of Great Britain.

26. Militants using open umbrellas will storm an American Embassy.

27. A panda bear will escape from a zoo in Birmingham England causing panic.

28. A new reality show filmed in a supermarket will be a hit.

29. The new dance reality shows will make discos popular again.

30. A racehorse will run loose on the streets of New York and avoid capture for many hours.

31. Health scare for Laura Bush.

32. The world's largest pumpkin will be grown in Pennsylvania.

33. Convicts will escape from San Quentin.

34. Wedding bells for Prince Albert of Monaco.

35. The home of the Wall Street Journal will be hit by an explosion.

36. - 44.  Copenhagen, Denmark will have a terrorist attack as well as in Toronto, Canada, and in Chicago, Hollywood, LA , San Francisco, Washington, New York in the USA, and in London, England.

45. A giant turtle hundreds of years old will be caught off the coast of Japan.

46. War will break out between England and Ireland.

47. A serial killer dressed like the Phantom of the Opera will kill in New York City.

48. Danger around the Pope.

B. Weather Predictions

49. A giant tornado will hit Oklahoma City.

50. A hurricane will hit New York City with a vengeance.

51. Hurricane season will be much stronger in 2007 and will batter Miami, South Beach and Florida.

52. Mobile, Alabama can expect the worse.

53. A giant snowstorm will blanket New York ...

54. ... and Toronto.

55. More tsunamis.

C. Star Predictions

56. Johnny Depp will split with his wife.

57. Leonardo D'Caprio will be kidnapped.

58. Johnny Depp will play Sherlock Homes in a movie.

59. Keith Richards has to watch his health.

60. Naomi Campbell will be caught shoplifting.

61. Paris Hilton will be kidnapped.

62. Diane Keaton will run for politics ...

63. ... and will play Hillary Clinton in a movie about former US President Clinton.

64. Queen Elizabeth will give Helen Mirren the title Lady.

65. Conan O'Brien will suffer a fall on ice and will film his show from a hospital bed.

66. A famous movie star will rob a bank.

67. Health scare around Woody Allen.

68. The British cook Jamie Oliver will be a Good Samaritan and save a woman's life.

69. Paula Deen the Southern Cook will be invited to the White House to cook for the President.

70. Ellen DeGeneres will author a hit book with all proceeds going to Hurricane Katrina fund ...

71. ... and Ellen will also produce a show about dancing and dancers.

72. Danger around Howard Stern.

73. Daniel Craig the new James Bond will have a car accident but live.

74. Tom Cruise will buy a hotel in Las Vegas ...

75. ... and film an action movie there.

76. Danger around David Letterman.

77. Drew Barrymore will have her own talk show.

78. Marriage for Penelope Cruz.

79. Paula Abdul will slap Simon on the show American Idol and walk off the show.

80. Reese Wiltherspoon will have a new lover.

81. Cancer scare around Madonna.

82. Paris Hilton will open up a chain of pet hotels when she is kicked out of a hotel with her dog.

83. Natalie Portman will star in a remake of My Fair Lady.

84. Charlize Theron and George Clooney will star in a remake of Alfred Hitchcock's 'To Catch A Thief'.

85. Robbery around Beyonce Knowles.

86. Scarlet Johanssen will play a trapeze artist in a film about a circus.

87. - 89. A split between Michael Douglas and Catherine Zeta Jones, Michelle Pfeiffer and David Kelly, as well as between Faith Hill and Tim McGraw.

90. - 91.  Hugh Hefner has to watch his health and Annette Funicello has to watch hers.

92. An animated version of the Wizard of Oz will be a hit.

93. Chastity Bono will get married.

94. Cher will join Ryan Seacrest on the red rug.

95. - 97. Oscar nominations for Meryl Streep in 'The Devil Wears Prada', and for Clint Eastwood and Adam Beach for their new war epic.

98. Pamela Anderson separating from Kid Rock.

99. Naomi Campbell will take up boxing.

D The Royals

100. The Queen and Prince Phillip have to watch their health.

101. The Queen could break a hip when riding a horse.

102. - 103. An explosion at Buckingham Palace at 10 Downing Street.

104. A Royal engagement or wedding.

105. - 106. Harry and William both have to be careful of kidnapping.

E Health Watch and Death

107. - 109. I foresee assassination attempts on Tony Blair, Condoleezza Rice, and President Bush.

110.- 153. Those who face health issues and or death are: Bill Clinton, Tammy Faye Baker, Hillary Rodham Clinton, Laura Bush, Barbara Bush, George Bush Senior, Vice President Cheney, David Letterman, Loretta Lynn, Larry King, Kirk Douglas, Nancy Reagan, Gerald Ford, Fidel Castro, Zsa Zsa Gabor, Luciano Pavarotti, Sadam Hussein, Courtney Love, Loretta Lynn, Tony Blair, Aretha Franklin, Bobby Brown, Vice President Dick Cheney, Michael Jackson, Billy Graham, Sophia Loren, Gerald Ford, David Blaine, Omar Sharif, Anna Nicole Smith, Keith Richard, Pamela Anderson Lee, Courtney Love, Dick Clark, Mohammed Ali, Michael J. Fox, Nelson Mandela, Annette Funicello, Jerry Lewis, Doris Day, Farrah Fawcett, Wayne Newton, Roger Smith, and Elizabeth Taylor.

© Michael Kunkel, April 2003 - September 2008